sunsets relax my fear of flying

Terrified of Flying? Here’s How To Cope With A Fear of Flying

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Updated: 9 November 2022

Newsflash: I Hate Flying. I’m terrified of flying.

Yes, you’ve reading that correctly. So, now you’re probably laughing right now and thinking, “But isn’t this a travel blog? How can you see the world if you’re scared to fly? Is going to the airport a huge challenge for you?”

Don’t get me wrong. I love to take epic vacations. Travel is my life.

Need examples of how passionate I am about the subject of wandering the world? Well, on any given day, I spend hours researching faraway lands. UNESCO sites. Quirky neighborhoods. Hostels and couchsurfing. Street food. And yes, bookstores.

… But wait. How long is the flight to my final destination? 11 hours? …. damn it.

how to cope with a fear of flying requires thinking outside the box

How to Cope with a Fear of Flying: You Can Do It!

Not sure how to cope with a fear of flying? You’ve come to the right blog. I love chatting about this subject, even if the best cure for fear of flying is debatable. After all, how to relax on an airplane varies from person to person.

Furthermore, I’m not a therapist or pilot, but regardless of that, I’m still terrified of flying, so I think I’m a good enough expert to write this post to help other people.

i'm scared of taking off in a plane
Waiting for the Plane to Take Off.

My “Fear of Flying” Story

A lot of people like to explain why being scared of flying is silly. I used to feel the exact same way, because do you want to know the sad truth? I wasn’t always afraid of flying either!

Actually, when I was a child, I loved turbulence because the sudden bumps reminded me of carnival rides.

Then, back in May 2012, my family and I boarded a flight to London. Roughly an hour passed before crazy turbulence hit, striking out of nowhere. Overhead compartments sprung open. My mom’s wine slammed into the ceiling. My butt came at least two inches out of my seat. Thank god I wore a seatbelt.

The turbulence lasted ten minutes. I don’t think it was “severe” turbulence (at not least by the FAA’s definition), but it was enough for me to dig my nails into the armrests for the remaining 5+ hours of my flight. The pilot announced an apology after we safely landed at Heathrow.

The rest is history. The flight that made me terrified of flying had lasting consequences on my life, to say the least.

how to overcome fear of flying quickly means not going into hot air balloons
I’m Still Not Going in a Hot Air Balloon!

For me, flying is torture. I experience anticipatory flight anxiety if I know a travel day is approaching.

However, I try not to allow my fears take full control of my life. So I still fly – sometimes for 9 hour flights – and often I travel alone.

It’s not easy and it’s not fun. But, like I said, travel is my life, and I refuse to let my fear of flying stop me!

Here are a few suggestions for how to cope with a fear of flying. Heck, even if you just hate flying, I still want you to read this post and improve your pesky travel days.

I hope these suggestions help you kick some major butt too! I believe in your strength.

fear of flying tips facts: the wing is less shaky
I Love Sitting Over the Wing.

Immediate Tips for Overcoming a Fear of Flying

Soul Searching to Find Your Fear’s Origin

A fear of flying is common. Some sources suggest 20-30% of adults are scared to fly. I’d even say that the vast majority of travelers feel varying degrees of apprehension about boarding a plane and taking to the skies.

However, a fear of flying is a very individual phobia. You need to ask yourself why you are scared to fly. There are so many common flying fears. So. Many.

Do you fear a plane crash? Are you claustrophobic? Do you worry about terrorism? Are you prone to motion sickness?

For me, the fear stems from a lack of control. The sooner you know the reason(s) behind your phobia, the better equipped you are to address it.

Oh, and I don’t like turbulence either. I’ve written a guide about overcoming a fear of turbulence too, because the bumps freak me out sooooo much. Shudders. 

need help for how to enjoy flying? think of how majestic the planes are
Is It Normal to Have a Fear of Flying? Yes!

Statistics to Battle Aviation Fears

Research the cold hard facts. 

Airsafe is an excellent resource that compiles statistics for each carrier and airplane model.

For example, let’s pretend I’m flying with United in a few days and experience awful anticipatory anxiety.

According to airsafe, United has had 21.9 million flights from 1970-2005. How many serious incidents? Only 11 out of those 21.9 million. The last major incident was 9/11/2001. These numbers plainly show that commercial airlines are extremely safe.

Yet my fear of flying is irrational, and I suspect the same for many others. Numbers may work to soothe nerves on the ground, but they don’t help me much on a rough ride through thick clouds.

Still, statistics are a small piece of the puzzle when it comes to figuring out how to cope with a fear of flying.

sunsets relax my fear of flying
A Cure for a Fear of Flying is My Dream Come True.

Choose Your Seat Ahead of Time

If you can, don’t allow the airline to pick your seat for you. Trust me, you’ll probably sit in the very last row near the bathrooms. A lot of major carriers allow you to select and reserve your seat online for free.

I always choose a window seat close to the wings. It’s been proven that turbulence is less forceful over the wings. And looking out the window makes me feel less trapped. 

My advice is for you to use seatguru for assistance on selecting the best seat.

Fearful flyers need to plan ahead to avoid extra bump trouble in the air.

sitting on a plane
Cautious Fearful Flyer

Ideas for How to Treat a Fear of Flying

Exposure Therapy for a Fear of Flying

This tip may not work for all of you.

Random noises frighten nervous fliers. Prior to take-off, my mind always asks if the engine is supposed to sound like a dentist drilling a cavity or not.

Sometimes, before a long flight, I watch airplane clips on youtube to re-accustom myself to common sounds heard on-board. This reinforces that planes are supposed to make noise, and those weird buzzy groans at take-off aren’t ominous.

Therapy can also address the big pressuring question: why am I scared to fly?

A smart and savvy therapist is worth his/her weight in gold, and can teach you how to cope with a fear of flying – even as soon as Day #1.

there are many ways for how to treat a fear of flying

Take A Class for Your Flying Fear

How to cope with a fear of flying is a group effort. And you’re lucky more resources rest at your fingertips.

Many airports and carriers offer “fear of flying” classes for customers. One day I hope to take a class for my anxiety.

Don’t be shy about booking yourself into one of these classes!

Again, a fear of flying is super duper common, and you’ll be surrounded by other brave souls who finally want to kick their anxiety forever.

Here is an example of a British Airways course:


Available Fear of Flying Courses If You’re Terrified of Flying  —

how to cope with a fear of flying isn't easy

Face Your Fear of Turbulence

I hate turbulence. If humans magically controlled air patterns and could offer a guaranteed “turbulence free” flight for $200, I would hand over the extra cash with zero regrets.

Alas, we cannot control nature.

Like I said, facing a crippling fear of turbulence is complicated and more difficult than it sounds. I always tell myself bumps are harmless, but forget logic once I’m in the clouds. Shudder.

Check out turbulence forecast for a rough (ha) idea about conditions. This site is not 100% accurate and depending on the person, could possibly ramp up anxiety. For me, I like having a rough idea of what to expect in the air.

The “fear of flying” courses also discuss turbulence in great detail if that’s a specific concern of yours.

how to cope with a fear of flying on a clear day
Weather Forecast Looks Great!

Does Alcohol Help Fear of Flying?

Eh, kinda.

Now I do NOT recommend getting drunk. If you are visibly intoxicated, the airline has every right to deny you from boarding. Plus 35,000 feet in the air is not an ideal place to puke all the contents of your stomach.

However, one or two glasses of wine may relax you for the duration of the flight. If your fear is mild, a drink could quickly calm your nerves. I won’t judge if alcohol is helps you cope with a fear of flying. Do whatever you need to.

welcome to EWR airport
The Best Thing for Fear of Flying Varies by Person.

Anti-Anxiety Medication for Planes

Being terrified of flying is debilitating in so many ways.

So, if you’re truly unable to reduce your anxiety, then visit a doctor and request a prescription for anti-anxiety medication. Xanax (Alprazolam), Ativan (Lorazepam), and Valium (Diazepam) are a few of the prescribed drugs given to fearful flyers.

Most doctors are very understanding toward fearful flyers. My doctor does everything in his power to help me.

Remember: this fear is common. Your doctor has heard everything from other patients. I promise.

In addition, don’t feel embarrassed about taking medication to fly. If pills help you fulfill your traveling dreams, then they are worth every penny and no one should judge you.

Note: Be responsible. Do not mix any medication with alcohol.

For example, Xanax is extremely safe if appropriately used, but serious complications occur if you throw alcohol into the mix. Also, if this is your first time taking any drug, try it at home prior to your flight.

These pills affect everyone differently so it’s important to know if your body can handle the dosage.

chilling on an airplane
This Fearful Flyer is Ready to Go!

Fearful Flyers: Don’t Suffer In Silence

I’ve already implied it, but if you’re unsure how to cope with a fear of flying, then you need to create a support system.

Don’t allow your flying fear to embarrass you. Remember that 25% statistic I quoted at you? I’m willing to bet at least a quarter of your plane feels the same lousy anxious feelings as you do! You’re not a coward and you’re not weird!

So, learning how to cope with a fear of flying means learning how to speak up when you need help and love from people around you.

As for me, upon boarding the plane, I immediately mention my anxiety to the flight attendants. They are always responsive to my concerns.

For instance, on a flight to Dublin, we hit a patch of rough air. The flight attendant immediately came to my seat and told me that “turbulence is uncomfortable but not unsafe.” Her words reassured me that everything was fine.

Reach out for help. You’re not alone.

sunny sweden always is appealing
How to Cope With a Fear of Flying? Think of Your Destination!

Are you afraid to fly? How do you cope with a fear of flying? What are YOUR tips for fearful flyers?

For more comprehensive information, check out my 43 tips for fearful flyers and start traveling like you’ve always wanted to. You don’t need to stay grounded at home, because your anxiety wants to take over your life. I promise you can do this. 

3 thoughts on “Terrified of Flying? Here’s How To Cope With A Fear of Flying

  1. Megan Funck says:

    These are some good tips… I never used to have anxiety about flying but after some crazy turbulent flights , I hate hate flying. It’s a fear I need to overcome though (or else ask my doctor for medication.. Actually in pretty sure before my next big trip in going to discuss it with my DR haha). That’s a good idea telling the flight attendants… There have been so many flights where I’m hyper sensitive to any sounds, sensations of slowing down or speeding up and bumps, and I sit there in a state if panic the entire flight. I think my fear is I don’t want to die before I feel like I’ve accomplished what I want to do in life, and the total lack of control over anything.

    • Rachel Elizabeth says:

      Hello, Megan! Thanks for visiting!

      It’s so funny how a few bad flights can spark an intense phobia. I’m so sensitive to noises and speed and bumps too; I always try and listen to the different engine sounds. At this point, I need medication to take my mind off the plane’s movements, but one day, I’m hoping to entirely conquer my fear. I want my desire to see new places to win over my flying anxiety.

      Wishing you the best of luck on your upcoming trip!! Enjoy every second of it!

  2. Jane Ambrose says:

    My family has been planning a trip to Hawaii for the last few months, but my oldest daughter doesn’t want to come because she has had a huge fear of flying for as long as I can remember. I hadn’t thought of sharing statistics with my daughter, but considering an airplane crash is so rare, I’m sure that seeing some true numbers would make her feel better. In my opinion, overcoming your fears is a hard but rewarding thing to do. I’ll be sure to share this with her to convince her to come with us!

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