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In my posts about anxiety and flying fears, I’ve mentioned a lack of control fuels much of my personal angst.
I’m a literature nerd. I like stories about epic journeys and life itself is a journey, isn’t it? Yet I can’t handle any uncertainty. A fuzzy future = a distressed me.
Regarding books, I want to know the endings so much that I pop titles into wikipedia, read entire plot summaries, and spoil myself.
This “look into the future” option isn’t included in the game of life.
Soon, I leave for a 6.5 week journey to Central Europe.
There are many experienced travelers in the blogosphere. Bloggers who’ve massive followings and book deals. Bloggers who’ve been on the road for 4+ years. Bloggers who are far more attractive and charismatic than me. And definitely bloggers who are braver than me!
I mean, a flying fear? Come on, girl, get it together.
I’m not jealous of these other bloggers. A lot of them are my role models and their words gave me the push I needed to travel solo for the first time. I joined Travel Blog Success, because I respect their influence in the field and believe their lessons can help me be the best travel blogger I can be.
Trust me, I harbor no resentment about their success.
However, by admiring to these bloggers, I feel like I shouldn’t fret about a simple month and a half adventure through fairytale Central Europe.
But I’m still nervous. Heck, the plane ride from Newark to Berlin is enough to make my mind implode. I even had a dream last night that I forgot my anxiety medication at home.
How lame is that?
Right now my biggest goal in life is embracing uncertainty.
My professional life – teaching – is a bit of a hot mess at the moment. I won’t go into details here, but let’s just say I have some pretttttty big decisions to make between now and my return to the USA in August.
I don’t know where my life is headed in the near future. No wikipedia page can guide me.
And that scares me.
At this age, I had expected to own a house, possibly be married, and accumulate a stable income from an equally stable job. I need to accept, however, that the universe has other plans for my time on this planet. Unfortunately for me, the universe is going to keep those plans a secret and leave me to figure out my destiny alone.
I just wish I wasn’t so worried.
But I’ll keep exploring this wonderful earth and soaking up every valuable moment. And one day, “maybe” will transform into a comforting word.
What are your tips for embracing uncertainty in your life? Are you a person who feels anxious about uncertainty? Or do you love the unknown? Write your responses here.